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Why divorcing gaslighters is so painful.

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Divorcing a gaslighter can be particularly painful for several reasons:

  • Manipulation and Control: Gaslighters are adept at manipulating and controlling their victims. In a marriage, they may have systematically undermined your perception of reality, making it difficult for you to trust your own thoughts and feelings. This erosion of self-confidence can make the process of divorce especially challenging.
  • Emotional Abuse: Gaslighting often involves emotional abuse, which can leave lasting scars. The emotional toll of constantly doubting yourself and being made to feel inadequate can contribute to a sense of deep emotional pain during the divorce process.
  • Isolation: Gaslighters may isolate their partners from friends and family, making it more challenging to seek support during the divorce. The lack of a strong support system can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and despair.
  • Financial Control: Gaslighters may also exert control over finances, making it difficult for the victim to access resources needed during divorce proceedings. Financial dependency can create additional stress and obstacles when trying to navigate the divorce process.
  • Legal Battles: Gaslighters may use manipulation and deceit even during legal proceedings, making divorce more contentious and challenging. They may attempt to manipulate the narrative to portray themselves as victims or to gain advantages in custody battles.
  • Fear of Retaliation: Victims of gaslighting may fear retaliation from the gaslighter, which can manifest in various forms, including threats, harassment, or attempts to further undermine the victim’s credibility. This fear can make the divorce process more emotionally charged and stressful.
  • Grieving the Loss of Illusions: Divorcing a gaslighter often involves coming to terms with the fact that the person you thought you knew and loved was not who they appeared to be. This realization can be deeply painful and may involve grieving the loss of the relationship you thought you had.
  • Recovery from Trauma: Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse, and divorcing a gaslighter means recovering from the trauma inflicted during the relationship. The healing process can be lengthy and emotionally draining.

Seeking support from friends, family, and professionals, such as therapists or support groups, can be crucial during the divorce process. Recognizing and validating your own experiences, rebuilding your self-esteem, and establishing healthy boundaries are essential steps toward healing and moving forward after divorcing a gaslighter.

At Raza Family Law Solutions, we practice family law effectively guiding clients through prenuptial and post nuptial agreements, dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody disputes. We also help families take a different approach to divorce with mediation and collaborative work.  Contact us for a consultation at (314) 314-5505.

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