When your marriage is ending, the emotional strain of continuing to live with your spouse can feel overwhelming. The temptation to pack up and leave is completely understandable. Many of our St. Louis divorce clients ask us, “Is it okay if I move out during the divorce process?”
The answer isn’t a simple yes or no. While moving out doesn’t legally constitute abandonment in Missouri or automatically forfeit your interest in the marital home, it can create complications that are worth understanding before you make this decision.
How Moving Out Can Impact Your Divorce in Missouri
Child Custody Considerations
If you have children, moving out requires careful thought. Missouri courts prioritize arrangements that allow “frequent, continuing and meaningful contact with both parents” (Mo. Rev. Stat. § 452.375). When you move out, you’re establishing a new living pattern that may influence the court’s custody decisions.
Courts often try to maintain stability for children, which means the temporary arrangements during your divorce could influence the final custody determination. If your children remain primarily with your spouse while you live elsewhere, this arrangement might become the foundation for the permanent custody order.
This doesn’t mean you’ll lose meaningful time with your children if you move out, but it’s important to establish a formal temporary custody schedule rather than relying on informal agreements that could change without notice.
Financial Considerations
From a financial perspective, moving out typically means supporting two households instead of one. This can strain your resources during an already financially challenging time. Consider:
- You may still be responsible for contributing to the mortgage or rent and utilities for the marital home
- You’ll have your own new housing expenses
- These dual expenses could strain your ability to save for legal costs or post-divorce needs
Additionally, if you’ve been the primary financial provider, the court may issue temporary orders requiring you to continue supporting the marital home even after you’ve moved out. Planning for these potential obligations is essential.
Property Access Issues
Once you move out, your access to the marital home becomes limited. This can create practical challenges:
- You may have difficulty retrieving personal items or important documents
- Changes to the property or removal of assets might occur without your knowledge
- The condition of the home could deteriorate, potentially affecting its value during property division
When Is Moving Out the Right Choice?
Despite these considerations, there are situations where moving out may be appropriate or necessary:
- When domestic violence is present: If there’s a history of abuse or violence, safety should always be your priority. Missouri courts recognize this and won’t penalize a spouse for leaving an unsafe situation.
- When tensions are extremely high: If the conflict between you and your spouse is making the home environment toxic, especially for children, creating separate living spaces might be best for everyone’s emotional wellbeing.
- When there’s a court order: If a judge has ordered you to leave, you must comply.
How to Protect Yourself If You Do Move Out
If you determine that moving out is necessary, here are steps to protect your interests:
For Parents:
- Establish a formal temporary parenting plan: Work with your attorney to create and file a temporary custody and visitation schedule that guarantees your continued involvement with your children.
- Document your involvement: Maintain detailed records of all time spent with your children, communications regarding them, and contributions to their care.
- Stay actively engaged: Continue attending school events, medical appointments, and other important activities in your children’s lives.
For Financial Protection:
- Document marital assets: Take photos or videos of the contents of your home before leaving.
- Secure important documents: Make copies of financial records, tax returns, and other essential paperwork.
- Address bill payments: Work with your attorney to establish clear agreements about who will pay which expenses during separation.
Alternative Options to Consider
Before deciding to move out, consider these alternatives:
- In-home separation: Some couples successfully establish separate living spaces within the same home during divorce proceedings, using different bedrooms and creating schedules for common areas.
- Structured mediation: Working with a mediator can help establish ground rules for continuing to live together during the divorce process.
- Nesting arrangements: In some cases, parents maintain the family home where children stay permanently, while parents rotate in and out based on a parenting schedule.
Talk to a St. Louis Divorce Attorney Before You Move Out
At Raza Family Law Solutions, we believe in helping our clients make informed decisions based on their unique circumstances. The choice about whether to move out during divorce should be made thoughtfully, with a clear understanding of potential consequences.
Every family situation is different. What works for one divorcing couple may not work for another. Instead of making decisions based on emotion or pressure, it’s important to discuss your specific situation with an experienced family law attorney who can help you weigh all factors.
If you’re contemplating divorce or separation in the St. Louis area and are unsure about your living arrangements, we invite you to contact our office. Our team can help you understand the potential implications of moving out in your specific case and work with you to develop a strategy that protects your rights and interests throughout the divorce process.
